The Way Fayer

What incites insecurity? It appears to me that insecurity results from a fear of relative insignificance or inferiority. This could be to a person, or it could be to an ideal that we have set as a standard for ourselves, invoking a sensitivity to our shortcomings that persists indefinitely.

Why do we have such a hard time letting go of insecurity? Because insecurity feels necessary. It seems crucial that we hold on to it tenaciously or otherwise face the risk of being exploited for our lack of self-awareness. In this sense, moving on with a disregard for that insecurity would be ignorant rather than brave. It is this logic that compels us to keep it close, reminding ourselves of the danger awaiting us are we to let go.

If not carefully assessed, insecurity festers and becomes as much a problem as a mangled arm left to structure itself improperly around a broken bone. It becomes a monster of emotion rather than reason, and the more emotions take us over, the more our ability to think rationally is subdued. This is the frustration that comes with attempting to analyze our situation thoroughly enough to overcome it, a rational endeavor that fails against the tyranny of our feelings. A monster of this substance becomes practically insurmountable, requiring extensive work to overcome, but it is never impossible.

Seeing that it does not continue comes with (actual) self-awareness, unrelenting will, and acceptance.

First, you must recognize the root of the insecurity. Consider someone insecure about their health. Such a person must be self-aware enough to realize that their concerns are a manifestation of existential fear. They are scared of death or some other physical inhibition that seems equally daunting. We all have this to some extent as creatures intent on survival and constantly at odds with danger. Earth is not always such a pretty place when you consider the diseases, parasites, and death within it. We all wish to be immortal despite our mortality; this is the standard we are up against. We mustn’t, however, focus on the negative end of the spectrum, for death is only possible because of life. In the same way, darkness only exists as an absence of light. Fear of death can ultimately serve as a reminder that we are alive.

Using perhaps the greatest tool that we have been granted—our minds—we are then capable of breaking down the particularities of our insecurity. Let’s say that the same person from the previous paragraph is specifically concerned about interacting with the environment outside of their house for fear of disease. They can’t so much as touch a doorknob at work or a gas pump at the Kum & Go without feeling the emotions beginning to overwhelm their conscience. Still, they know quite well the immense improbability of such an experience proving to be life-threatening (or seriously debilitating). At this point, they must understand that reason, whatever its utility, will not sufficiently get rid of the emotion. The threat will still be perceived. Nevertheless, their will can guide them into rational behavior, allowing them to proceed against an obnoxiously intolerant worse judgement. This means doing the very things that scare them the most—however irrational they feel—because feelings tend to disguise themselves in rationality.

This is where acceptance comes in. Uncertainty prevails from this corner of the universe to the other. We simply cannot know everything, and we cannot ensure our safety. Life is precious, its antithesis always lurking around the corner. But why should we expect anything else? The fragility of human existence makes our lives more meaningful because it gives us no choice but to seek it. Why should we care to explore the unknown, adventuring into the heart of life if we were perfectly content in our beds? Shortcomings are a precondition for sanctification. Accepting these things helps us be more playful with life, enjoying each moment as children once more.

A disposition of resilience and openness makes life worth living, bringing with it an end that ultimately justifies its limitations. That attitude can be issued toward any insecurity, whether that be someone’s physical appearance, mental or spiritual battles, social status, vocational success, physical health, or anything else. No insecurity is easier to deal with than another.

Some might argue that Christianity is nothing more than a defense against death anxiety. If that’s the case, I must ask: why make the symbol of Christianity one of death? Seeking life means confronting death, and the life you find in that is one that lasts forever.

While it seems strange, we choose to keep our insecurity around. Take a risk and let go—of course, worse judgement will resist—but to hell with it. Remember you are alive right now. Choose life, and fight for it. To do that, however, you must first embrace death. What follows can only be justified through faith in something beyond ourselves, and that is the ultimate source of life, truth, and perseverance.

In Dracula, Bram Stoker says this through the character of Abraham Van Helsing: “Faith is that which enables us to believe things which we know to be untrue.” Faith allows us to believe in the impossible, and not only that, but to believe in its possibility—against worse judgement.